Whoa Baby!

I often utilize the phrase “my kids.” While working in the public school system, that is a very common phrase among teachers and staff. Obviously these words are referring to our students either in our class, or in my case, kids on my caseload. Recently I have been entrusted with two GINORMOUS secrets far to close together for me to wrap my head around appropriately. It is safe to say I am having a solid quarter life crisis quietly to myself. If you haven’t guessed, two of my very best friends are experiencing the joys of pregnancy. If that isn’t enough to process, they’re due within two weeks of one another! I hope they realize I have the salary of a first year teacher and they can’t both possibly get amazing, best friend worthy baby shower gifts.. I guess we’ll find out who the favorite is (just kidding). Going back to my quarter life crisis.. Don’t get me wrong, I am incredibly happy for my besties to bring their first child into the world, and to completely spoil them as the unrelated “fun aunt” that sugars them up and sends them back. But on the other hand, a scary realization is sinking through my bones that we really are adults now. We are past the college party days, past the unplanned road trips, and far past making irresponsible spur of the moment decisions without now considering the life of a tiny human (deep panicking breaths). Now, if you have read my previous posts, I am totally accepting of the early bed time, and staying in on a Saturday evening watching HGTV with a bottle of wine. What i’m really trying to process here is the freedom that I feel is slowly slipping away. As a 25-year-old, in the words of my father “you’re now closer to 30 than you are to 20.” Hearing that is one thing, FEELING it sends that “what the f*ck” reflex screaming through my head. Now some of you at this point might say to me, “you’re not the one having a baby.” I understand this, although I am THE definition of a crazy dog mom. She is an angel and no one can say otherwise. And no, she will never have enough treats or toys. My point of this rant concludes to the pure fact that things are changing. That after college, late 20’s feeling is creeping up on me faster than I was prepared for. I am getting married for goodness sake! Most days, I find myself in situations that have me franticly searching for the adult in the room, not my kind of adult, like the real adults, the adult adults. I still call my mom when i’m sick, I still buy the “good” fruit snacks, and I still highly enjoy reruns of Disney Channel Original Movies, but when this quarter life crisis is over, I will (hopefully) be accepting of the closing chapter of my life entitled “the early 20’s”, and welcoming with open arms the “closer to 30” season of life.